I Never Eat…Cheesesteak by Paul Lubaczewski (Author's Preferred Edition)
They say life is what happens when you're making other plans. It is also what happens when you need cash to record a demo, but that isn't as catchy in a song, or a meme. Al was coasting through life without a plan or a clue when he was offered a way to make quick cash without doing anything illegal, mainly because killing vampires is not technically against any laws. If he agrees he jump starts his musical career, but on the downside he has to combat the forces of undead evil, including their horrific fashion sense. Will Al survive? Will his punk rocker sister Angie finally dump her loser boyfriend? Will Al's girlfriend come to her senses and dump him? Will Al's gruff partner Abdiel become "woke"? (depends on your definition) Will the citizens of Philadelphia discover the dark festering evil that lurks in their very city?(other than Eagles fans) Will anyone eat an actual cheesesteak? The only way to find out is to read this book, because there will probably never be a Cliff Notes for this one!