Black Cat Mojo by Adam Howe
In these three novellas of blackly comic crime and creature horror, you’ll go slumming with well-endowed dwarf porn stars, killer badgers, redneck mama’s boys, morbidly obese nymphomaniacs, dumbass dog-nappers, trailer trash Jesus freaks, diarrheic Jack Russell Terriers, not-so-wiseguys, mob-movie memorabilia collectors, junkie blackmailers, and giant man-eating Burmese pythons.
OF BADGERS & PORN DWARFS
To pay back a gambling debt and avoid being castrated, washed-up dwarf porn star Rummy Rumsfeld (of Snow White spoof Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, It’s Up Your Ass We Go) must overcome a geriatric pederast, redneck pornographers, a morbidly obese nymphomaniac with serious personal hygiene issues, the ghost of his religious zealot mother, a dwarf-eating badger, and George Lucas.
JESUS IN A DOG’S ASS
Dumbass desperadoes Hootie and Poke incur the wrath of a trailer trash church group, not to mention God, when they kidnap a Jack Russell Terrier with the figure of Jesus Christ in its butt.
FRANK, THE SNAKE, & THE SNAKE
After testifying against notorious mob boss “Snake” Cobretti, embittered ex-wiseguy Frankie “The Tin Man” Piscopo emerges from Witness Protection to embark on a disastrous drug deal that leaves him fighting for his life against a giant Burmese python with a taste for Italian-American.
BONUS SHORT STORY
THE MAD BUTCHER OF PLAINFIELD'S CHARIOT OF DEATH
Washed up carny buys Ed Gein's car hoping to reverse his bad luck. . .But the real horror was just getting revved up . . .
"It’s almost as if someone smashed Dashiell Hammett’s seamless noir patter, Elmore Leonard’s pitch-perfect ear for hapless characters, Quentin Tarantino’s sardonic sense of irony and Clive Barker’s unflinching portrayal of sexual pain/pleasure into a blender, mixing in a heaping helping of Stephen King’s pop culture mise–en–scène framing. Howe bobs and weaves, pulling it all together in a denouement that is as satisfying as it is completely unexpected." Walt Hicks for HELLNOTES
"Like tuning in to Irvine Welsh's Animal Planet, Adam Howe has conjured up something pulpy and hysterical here, but with an eye for satire and some satisfying potshots at rednecks, religion, as well as technology, not unlike Black Mirror actually (the first episode with the pig anyway). Gloriously offensive, fast-paced and funny, only the animals come through with their dignity almost intact, although Howe does betray some affection for his cast of dead-enders in each selection. So if you're tired of all that respectable, snooze-worthy shit with silhouettes on the cover, try something like this, a book best consumed on the subway in a paper bag, or at the zoo." --David James Keaton, author of The Last Projector and Fish Bites Cop!
"Utterly compelling, uniquely twisted, and funny as hell, BLACK CAT MOJO is simply magnificent!" --Adam Millard, author of Vinyl Destination and Hamsterdamned!
"Black Cat Mojo makes you feel like you've stumbled across a treasure trove filled with the stories Tarantino was too afraid to tell. Bizarro pulp of high quality, Adam Howe writes like Chandler on mescaline--a mind altering read." --S.R. Mastrantone, Shock Totem, Lamplight, Vignettes from the End of the World
"Adam Howe's stories are peopled with characters you might find in a Carl Hiaasen novel: wacky, outrageous, severely down-on-their-luck losers, who go to extreme means to try and improve their lot. You will either be laughing your head off or feeling slightly nauseous." --Jerry Raine, author of Frankie Bosser Comes Home and Slaphead Chameleon.
"Raw, punky, and genuinely surprising." --Stephen King, (on JUMPER, as featured in ON WRITING: A Memoir of the Craft." )