Pucker Up by Harvey Bastard
“This isn’t your daddy’s midlife crisis. Harvey Bastard has given us a tale that is utterly sick and immoral. So naturally, it’s a damn good time. Good luck getting this one out of your head.” —Mick Collins, author of Dick Wiggler and Other Useless Superpowers
After Philip Blake enters a midlife crisis, he finds himself in a downward spiral of drugs, alcohol, and unusual sexual encounters. In a conversation with an old friend many months later, Blake recounts the story of his descent into vice and depravity, pinpointing the precise moment his midlife crisis became irreparable ruin. By the end of the night, shocking things are revealed, and orifices suffer bizarre torments they are ill-equipped to endure. So, pucker up, dear reader, because shit’s about to get weird.
“Mr. Bastard is going straight to Hell for this one!” —James G. Carlson, author of Midnight in the City of the Carrion Kid
You just have to read it.
I … I don’t even know how to start this review so I’m just going to jump into PUCKER UP by Harvey Basterd. Phillip Blake is going through a midlife crisis. His wife left him, he sold everything he owned, and has been MIA for over a year. What has he been doing, living the sexual life of a crazy person. When he finds a high priced hooker in Vegas, that’s when the really bad shit (pun intended) starts. As he recounts his story to his best friend, Sam, the story goes from weird to what the actual fuck. Harvey is a new bizarro writer and I have no idea how I feel about this book. Don’t misread that, I don’t hate it, not even close. The prose is oddly poetic for such a WTF type of story and that confuses me. Then they (as I am not sure if Harvey is male, female, or gender non-conforming) referenced Charles Bukowski (I mean, just that alone makes me love them) and Proust! In a bizarro short! They have my heart, whomever they may be. This is probably one of the most insane bizarro stories I have read to date. I can’t really explain it well and I kinda dig that. I’m now a Harvey Basterd fangirl.
You Brilliant Basterd!
Pucker Up by Harvey Basterd I just finished reading Pucker Up by Harvey Basterd and I got to say, I was impressed. Let me say right off the bat, it is bizarro but not in the typical sense. The story unfolds when Philip shows up at his friend Sam’s place after an extended disappearance. There’s something different about his friend, Sam notices. Philip’s hair is long, his beard is ragged and…he is wearing a kilt. When asked about the kilt, Philip replies, “It makes it easier.” Ok, where is this going you ask? Well, Philip starts the conversation declaring his fondness for anuses and the story takes off from there. Philip’s tale is full of debauchery, carnal behavior, and of course, a fair share of sodomy. Count me in, I say. This ride takes many twists and turns and is delivered in such a delightful engaging way, I think you owe it to yourself to get on board the butt-train. You will kick yourself; you know where if you don’t. Beyond what the story is, it is the delivery and writing style of Mr. Basterd that sets this story apart and it is the reason I will read the next one this unknown author delivers. God damn you, Mr. Basterd, you brilliant SOB!
PUCKERED UP is a story conceived during one hell of a trip. That's the only excuse for it. No one in their right mind could have come up with this sh*t. Harvey, you Bastard. Seriously, if you enjoy f*cked up bizarro stories, you need to check out this sh*t!
Firstly, I was gonna hold this review ransom until Harvey told me who he/she was, but I had so much fun making these little turd monsters, I had to share it anyway! As soon as I was told this story was "perverted, gross and hella weird" I knew I had to read it!! And it totally delivered on that promise!! I was completely hooked from the very beginning! When a couple of old friends meet up after a year or so, one of them has a heck of a story to tell, which continues to get more and more bizarre! After his wife leaves him, Philip indulges in a life of drugs and debauchery, ending up in Vegas with a hooker with a difference! Things continue to get worse for him from there....but oh so much better for the reader! Harvey's writing is fantastic! It's well paced, smooth flowing, vivid and detailed! An absolutely brilliant novelette, horrific yet endearing and so much fun! The characters were really easy to like, and the shenanigans were a riot!! I loved this book so much, one of my fave reads of this year!! This guy, whoever he/she may be, gives good bizarro!!!! I will most definitely be keeping my eyes peeled for more from Harvey!! 5/5 puckers ❇️❇️❇️❇️❇️