One Last Action Hero by Timothy Friesenhahn
This sum bitch literally bleeds red white and blue. He's feared among soldiers and criminals. He goes by, simply, The Jeff. On his final mission, he leaves his three lovers behind in their recovering African village. Gorma Gorma.
On his hunt for one last loser, he comes across a woman and a city unknown to man. While away some renegade American assholes decide to go on a killing spree for fun.
What they didn't know was the carnage they unleashed would awake an ancient beast.
The Jeff has no idea what is happening, all he knows is what the strange woman is telling him. Well, wait, he knows one thing for sure, HE IS ABOUT TO KICK SOME MAJOR ASS.
Bastards must die. Vengeance will be had but everything isn't as it seems.
Can The Jeff whoop ass and lay his woman down, or will chaos and an ancient being hinder his god-like status?
Well OK, so I strapped in, rubbed myself with mayonnaise, and placed duct tape over my nether regions........but I still wasnt prepared for this awesome ride of pure INSANITY!! I knew just from the introduction that this was going to be one helluva crazy, fun time! It already had me laughing out loud! And the main characters name alone is awesome - not just Jeff, but THE Jeff!! I mean, this guy makes Chuck Norris look like Bambi! Hes a brutal Badass, with a horny heart of gold! This book is an EPIC tale of adventure, of super-gross, super-funny, super-disturbing, complete and utter bizarre, fucked up, sick, twisted chaos! I had so much fun with this book and cannot wait for the absolute mayhem to continue! Every book of Tims that I read, just gets better and better! 5/5 blown minds!
Not to be confused with the cheesy, wimpy Last Action Hero, Arnold Schwarzenburger
One Last Action Hero is the third book/fourth story I have read by Mr. Tim "Timothy Friesenhahn" Tim, and the more of his work that I read, the more impressed that I become. Tim Tim, in my opinion, has the potential to be the next Carlton Mellick the 3rd. Now, that is saying a lot, but when you pick up a book that could have just as easily been titled RAMBONER: RETURN TO POUND TOWN, you get what you came for - so long as Mr. Tim Tim is at the wheel. This book has a teddy bear-lizzard hybrid, slobby poo poo, an obese octopus man, Denis Rodman, sand whores, beasteality, hoties, boner inducing scenarios, etc.