Neil by Simon McHardy and Sean Hawker
Neil doesn’t have much going for him. Still living in his mother’s basement, spending all of his free time eating fried chicken, watching horror movies, and working a dead-end job wiping ass at the One Oak nursing home. That is until he receives a demonic gift from an ailing serial killer that transforms him into a monstrous, tentacle-armed behemoth.
With his newfound abilities, Neil embarks on a killing spree with the intention of becoming the most notorious serial killer of all time. Maybe then, he will win the heart of his work colleague, Lindsay. But Lindsay has some secrets of her own and may prove not to be the sweet, delicate girl he thinks she is.
Neil is bizarre, gross, and disturbing, but with as much three dimensional depth one can get in extreme horror. I'm going to discuss Neil, he's a movie going, comic book collecting nerd that wants some female, and he transforms into a serial killer when he finds a magical mask from a resident in a nursing home. Although this story is fast paced and full of extreme gore there's still depth in the fact that dysfunction is a constant in the world and horror is the perfect platform for it. When the reader peels the layers back it comes down to how lonely, judgmental and biased society truly is. Neil transforms into something that nobody wants to see or deal with, and in the end, well I won't spoil it, but will ask is there a sequel? Get this book if you love all the stuff that Universal Studios isn't.
You know that scene in Lady and the Tramp where the two dogs each have a piece of spaghetti in their mouth, and as they disgustingly slurp it up, there is the final reveal, and you don't know which noodle belonged to which dog, because they have come together flawlessly. Two noodles have become one, and the audience goes mad! Reading Neil is like that. I have read a lot from both of these authors, but I couldn't even begin to guess where one author's writing begins and the other's ends. But, to complete the Disney analogy, I invite you to go a little deeper down the carnivorous rabbit's cunt-hole. Imagine Pogo sliding his veiny cock up the crack of Lady's ass. Now picture Dumbo bludgeoning his mother's every orifice - to death - with his barbed trunk. Can you see Peter Pan? Three doors down from where you live, he call his basement Never Never Land, and right now he is shoving Smithers up King Louis' ass - If you can see all that, and you aren't being condemned to Shnell by Bogus Spirit (or whatever), then you you are adequately prepared for this new offering by Sean Hawker and Simon McHardy, the Prince John and Robin Hood of Modern Splaterpunk. I wish you the best of luck.
Fried Chicken? Check Morbidly Obese Characters? Check Dark Humor? Check This book has everything I come to expect from McHardy and more. Throw The Hawkman into the mix and you get something so gross it should be illegal. Come on, vaginal steaming? The broth?? I think I may have to stay away from my fiancé for a while after that, I don’t want to think about vaginas. I loved every minute of reading this book, and the combination is a match made in the bowels of hell. I really hope to see these two work together again, they’re amazing at writing in one voice. If I didn’t make that checklist I might not have known who wrote what parts!
Foul, vile, disgusting, sick and just wrong on every level... Exactly what you'd expect from these sick bastards!
Okay, let me take a moment to take a breath and gather my thoughts. This cartoon-style gore-fest caper was absolutely sick. Brilliant. Funny. Sick as fuck. But hey what do you expect from the twisted duo of McHardy and Hawkman. I wouldn’t normally read something like this but I found myself devouring this in two sittings. I couldn’t put it down, I wanted to see how - or if - they could top the scenes before last. And they did. I could only imagine what these two were like alone in their little pits of hell when talking and writing Neil. I’m told by a little birdie that Hawkman is even sicker than his teacher. Well McHardy you’ve trained your Quasimodo well and you two have morphed into one helluva sick and winning team. Five solid stars.