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Earth Truckers are Easy by Chad Farmer
Grizzled Gulf War veteran turned truck driver Jack Hammers reluctantly enlists the aid of a streetwise prostitute Chrystalline to rescue his son from Jack’s sleazy pimp brother who’s also a security guard. After reluctantly stopping at the Get Em N Go. Eventually he finds himself teamed up with Chrystalline to battle intergalactic evil aliens and spoil their plan to overtake earth.
…A trio of reptilian aliens have crash-landed on Earth just outside of the Get Em N Go truck stop. After observing the behavior of lot lizards in their natural habitat, the aliens morph into prostitutes in order to extract semen from truckers to refuel their spaceship and return to their home planet Zenotho. The only drawback to their plan is that after extracting the semen, the truckers literally shrivel up and die. When the aliens underestimate the grit and toughness of Jack and Chrystalline, they call for a special force alien
team from their home planet to engage in an all-out war with the earthlings.
…As if everything going down at the Get Em N Go wasn’t enough, a ragtag duo of oversexed and violence-prone men in black operatives tracking the same alien crash landing to the very same truck stop.
As soon as they arrive, things go from bad to way, way worse.
…A trio of reptilian aliens have crash-landed on Earth just outside of the Get Em N Go truck stop. After observing the behavior of lot lizards in their natural habitat, the aliens morph into prostitutes in order to extract semen from truckers to refuel their spaceship and return to their home planet Zenotho. The only drawback to their plan is that after extracting the semen, the truckers literally shrivel up and die. When the aliens underestimate the grit and toughness of Jack and Chrystalline, they call for a special force alien
team from their home planet to engage in an all-out war with the earthlings.
…As if everything going down at the Get Em N Go wasn’t enough, a ragtag duo of oversexed and violence-prone men in black operatives tracking the same alien crash landing to the very same truck stop.
As soon as they arrive, things go from bad to way, way worse.
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ND
08/13/2023
Nathan D. Ludwig
CanadaI recommend this product
Boners, Babes, and Blasters!
If Men in Black's plot was nothing but pure sex and you forced it to mate with every trucker movie ever and slathered it all in paranoid reptilian alien conspiracy sauce, you'd come close to what Chad Farmer has done here. This is one of the grossest and funniest books ever written.