Cradle of the Dead by Roger Jackson

There’s a serious problem in the realm.

Royal families still practice the tradition of locking away their first born daughters in the booby-trapped lairs of monsters—all in the hopes that brave knights will rescue them. Prince Francis and his trusted companion Gavin, a wise-cracking pig, aim to end this barbaric tradition. Now they travel the realm promoting P.E.T.P—Princes for the Ethical Treatment of Princesses.

They set their sights on Pretty, the most beautiful princess and one that no knight has yet been able to rescue. But saving Pretty from a prison made of the strongest goblin stone is only the beginning. The princess is not what she seems!

Join our heroes on a hilarious—and dysfunctional—journey. But remember, this isn’t your child’s fairy tale. Prepare yourself for flamboyant princes, shameless pig sex, and untold armies of rats and flies. Snuggle up and get ready for your bedtime story.