Lambskin of God by Jerry Blaze

The Vatican has sent one of their most holy relics to the local Catholic diocese for the holidays. The sacred relic, a piece of lambskin that touched the blood of Christ during the Crucifixion that was later fashioned into a condom, is rumored to have immaculate powers and should only be handled with the utmost care.

However, when obnoxious church janitor Sebastian Goodman decides to steal and test out the relic, the holy powers of the relic are truly revealed. And the ensuing chaos may bring about the End Times faster than the Second Coming!