Die, You Fucking Cunt! by Sean Hawker
Les doesn’t let his low sperm count prevent him from giving his wife, Marjory, the ‘mummy experience’.
He hires Gary, a down-on-his-luck dwarf actor, who he thinks is the perfect solution.
When Gary disagrees, things turn very ugly...
...Now it's about survival and escape.
United StatesHave I got a role for you Peter Dinklage
This little family story brings us Les and Mary. Mary wants a baby, but Les isn't really on board but wants to make Mary happy. The problem is that Les's sperm count is less than adequate to knock her up. For the time being, Mary has played mommy to a plastic doll as well as a kitten. The kitten ran away and left Mary heartbroken. Les comes up with a plan. He hires a little person named Gary to play the role of a baby to satisfy Mary's motherly instincts. Gary thinks he is a stand-in for a short film, but Les has other plans. That brings us to their pet, Spence. Yeah, I will leave that for you to discover. Another wild and outlandish story from Hawker, who never fails to deliver a vile but hilarious tale. Laugh out loud funny and so very wrong, but always a treat. Check it out! 5 severed fingers out of 5
CanadaWtf Did I Just Read!
I’m not sure what disturbed me more….. this book, or how much I enjoyed it. Lol Definitely a great quick read. It is horrifyingly hilarious in all the wrong… but right…. Ways.
United StatesAn amazing & gross thriller
This was my first Sean Hawker read. It was so good I immediately purchased all of his other titles afterwards. Brutal, funny, tense, I felt bad for the captive dwarf, but the story is all leading to a climax (sexual and otherwise) that made my jaw flap open in disbelief. If I had to choose one word to describe this story, it would be “amazing.” Highly recommend!!
CanadaPoor Gary
You'll meet Les and Marjory, two disturbed individuals who don't seem TOO bad...at first. You'll also meet Gary. Gary doesn't have a lot of money or options going for him. Gary made a bad decision, although it wasn't really his fault. Now Gary is in a mess of a situation and it looks pretty damn bleak. What happens to Gary? Will we hear from him again? I sure hope we do.
United StatesSpeechless
This might be one of the greatest stories ever written. Extreme, crazy, and fucking hilarious. I loved it.