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Things Were Easier Before You Became a Giant Fucking Mantis by Matthew A. Clarke
Things Were Easier Before You Became a Giant Fucking Mantis by Matthew A. Clarke
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Things Were Easier Before You Became a Giant Fucking Mantis by Matthew A. Clarke

Matthew A. Clarke

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“You’ll never look at a mantis the same way again. Especially if you intend to fuck or marry it.” Sean Hawker, Author of The Captive Dwarf

Growing up is never easy, especially when the person you love is turning into a giant fucking mantis.

Jacoboby Bentley and his friends know little of life outside the Super Mantis Killas (SMK). Their day to day lives consist of drinking cheap booze, good drugs, video games, and the occasional mantis-beatdown.

But when Jacoboby’s girlfriend and long-term best friend, Millie, starts to become a mantis, he finds himself questioning everything he has been raised to believe in, unsure of where his loyalties lie. It would be easy to treat her like any other manti-person — regular beatings, chase her out of town, eventually kill her — but is that really what he wants? Or is he willing to turn his back on everyone and everything that he’s ever known in order to spend the rest of his life with her, facing the wrath and retribution of the clan?

 

Things Were Easier Before You Became a Giant Fucking Mantis shoves you into a bizarre world populated by manti-people, clansmen, and a happy little gnome that you would definitely not want to leave alone with your child.

Customer Reviews
4.9 Based on 12 Reviews
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Filter Reviews:
DL
09/19/2021
Donna L.
United States United States
I recommend this product
Ridiculously good

I loved this book so much! Gore, humor, ridiculousness and revenge all in one place. This book is deeper than it seems and it's message is delivered perfectly.

GG
08/20/2021
Gerhard G.
Canada Canada
I recommend this product
Required for essential living. Classic Bizarro. Albeit, not enough fisting...

Yes, it's true. If you haven't read Things Were Easier Before You Became A Giant Fucking Mantis, than you have not been really living. For once I was blind, but now I can see. Readin this book is better than watching SpongeBob SquarePants ride David Hasselhoff like a surfboard. And then take him from behind, off-screen. If you are reading this review, though, you are kind of wasting the time you could be spending either ordering or reading this book. Things Were Easier Before You Became A Giant Fucking Mantis could cheer up the dead, if they weren't already buried. Try reading this to the next freshly-minted corpse you come by and watch them come right back from the abyss and do the Goofy Goober dance! It's a bit unnerving, and you have to put them back down with a bullet in the brain, but this book is THAT good - and for the right person, it is also a boner pill worth writing home about. Why to go, Matt Clarke. You did it again!

L
08/18/2021
Linz
United Kingdom United Kingdom
Wacky And Wonderful

I love a good bizarro read and Matt doesn't disappoint this is both gross and laugh out about funny. This author is fast becoming an automatic one click for me

MF
08/05/2021
Mr. Frank
United States United States
A Modern Day Classic Bizarro

THINGS WERE EASIER BEFORE YOU BECAME A GIANT FUCKING MANTIS harkens back to the feel and tone of Bizarro days of yore. And that's saying something since Matthew Clarke is a new voice on the scene. He's studied the classics and is now belting out his own, true-to-form bizarro tales. Let's face facts, the title is on point. It screams bizarro. You know your getting weird before you open the book. And when you do open the book and take the ride, it's a wonderful combination of fun, serious, poignant and heartfelt. The story turns on social mores bit never gets heavy-handed. It's a love story at its core. A modern day, bizarro Romeo and Juliette or West Side Story or Bronx Tale. I cherished this read. It made its point and wrapped up nicely. I hope Clarke returns to this mad world of manti-people and people people it seems a great place to cull amazing stories from.

M
08/04/2021
Margaret
United Kingdom United Kingdom
Balls Out Weirdness

Maybe even better than coffin dodgers. It’s a gnome chucking, sticker book having, David hasselhoff involving insect orgy. What more could anyone want.