Toby Chalmers Commits "Career" Suicide by Jeremy Thompson

One day, horror hack Toby Chalmers looks up from his laptop, and sights a drooling home invader in his study. Decked out in high-tech security gear, the trespasser squirts leg-paralyzing, voice-stealing nanomist into the author's mouth, and coerces him into composing an alleged masterpiece:

The Muff Whisperer

Tragedy strikes Cosplay Con, scorching Jordan's girlfriend down to a charcoal skeleton...save for one small bit of anatomy. To unravel the musky mystery of a flying, street fighting sex organ, Jordan must pay a visit to Dr. Arnie Shrem, a.k.a. The Muff Whisperer.

Between each completed chapter of their work in progress, the intruder regales Toby with details of their next collaborations, “excellent ideas” involving superpowered penis transplants and anthropomorphic, extraterrestrial, lesbian bulldogs. Simultaneously, the cretin is mutating into an animal-vegetable hybrid.