Bert Edens

Bert Edens is a writer, editor, software developer, customer support dude, martial arts instructor, security professional, and wannabe chef. It’s a good thing his noggin is so big since he always wants to wear so many hats. Unfortunately, this leads to him being horribly busy and absent-minded, which means he forgets to fill up ice trays, ignores boiling water for tea on the stove for hours, and leaves cabinet doors open in the kitchen. Fortunately, the first was easily rectified with a refrigerator that makes ice cubes, but the last two will likely one day lead to homeowner insurance claims or a beating about the head and shoulders by his Gorgeous Bride.

Speaking of Gorgeous Bride, Bert lives with His Person, His Love, His Puzzle Piece, and yes, His Gorgeous Bride, Carrie. She had a stable personality until she started hanging around with Bert, so sympathy cards are always welcomed. Not only is Carrie all the things previously mentioned, she is also Bert’s alpha reader, the first to see the warped ideas that spawn from his mind. Again, sympathy cards are welcomed.

Also living with Carrie and Bert is his older offspring, Zak, an adult with special needs who is generally a good guy but has his days. He makes up for it by being a hugging machine, especially when he’s in trouble.

Carrie, Bert, and Zak are ruled over and kept in line by Duchess, their Pembroke Welsh Corgi, and her lady-in-waiting and mentee, Lucy, also a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. The humans think they own the house, but they are merely maintaining it for the benefit of the Corgi Royalty. It does seem to be an arrangement that works, as long as there are trips to the dog park, scritches, sploots, and oh-so-many treats. All the treats.

Bert is available for collaborative writing, contract writing, and editing work on pieces of fiction, non-fiction, or any other genre, presuming he gets Duchess’s blessing. You can contact him at bert@bert-edens.com.