Valentine (The Smalls Family Stories I) by Ash Ericmore
It’s time for the boys to move over.
Marian is babysitting her cousin’s little boy. Kid by the name of Backy. You might have heard of him. Adam and Rachel are out with the other kids, and fuck me if the Scottish KGB don’t turn up. Grab the kid.
Well, for anyone else this might be a melting pot of shit. Lost a Smalls kid? You fucked. But not for Marian. Marian is, after all, a Smalls unlike any other.
And today is Valentine’s day.
Our Favorite Dysfunctional Family Returns
If you've been following my reviews at all, you know how much I adore Ash Ericmore's writing and especially the sordid tales associated with the Smalls Family. To say I was pleased when Ericmore indicated there would be more to come after he'd concluded the stories of the seven Smalls brothers with Candyboy's agricultural escapades would be an extreme understatement. With Valentine, we're fully introduced to their cousin Marian. Babysitting Backy for Adam (Bliss) becomes quite the adventure when a group of Scottish criminals force their way into the house and leave with Valentine's charge, hoping to take something of importance to Adam. Unfortunately for them, Valentine is no less prone to violence and impulsive behavior than the other Smalls we've met. Physical torture, superhero antics, excessive violence, a reptile ruckus, and a big rig brouhaha ensues as Valentine tracks down the twice-stolen baby, hoping to return him home before Adam is any the wiser. As with Ericmore's other criminal capers, this story is non-stop, full-tilt excitement from the first line to the conclusion. You can't be disappointed when you're delving into the world of the Smalls clan, it's simply not an option.
Will You Be My Valentine, Valentine?
Oh my gosh Backy is back!! Leave it to Marian to lose a baby while pegging some guy. As per Smalls tradition, Valentine packs in so much death, gore, and humor in its petite frame. I swear, this family is full of death Picassos. The amount of creativity that goes into their kills and maimings is unheard of. It’s like watching 1000 Ways to Die, but make it closer to maybe 10,000!