Stuck On You by Jasper Bark
Cheating husband Ricardo could never keep it in his pants, and now it’s stuck in the worst possible place.
His Mexican road trip becomes a nightmare straight out of urban legend when he agrees to take the wrong woman back over the border. A bolt of lightning sees him fused to his fellow cheater on a detour into the backwoods. Now he’s fighting wild beasts and raw nature just to stay alive in this dark comedy romance that blends erotic horror with black humour and extreme splatter.
And now... A warning!
Do not buy this book, gentle reader.
No really, we mean it. Move along, click away from this page and go look at some Dino porn instead. We’re not kidding. The only reason we published it is because award winning author Jasper Bark has got some serious dirt on us. Honestly, there’s no other reason to put out something this depraved.
This is the sickest, filthiest and most horny novella you’re likely to read this year. It will turn you on even as it turns your stomach. Think you’ve seen everything there is to see in horror and erotica? Think again! Just when you think this story can’t get any lower it finds new depths to plumb.
Why are you still reading this?! Oh God you’re going to buy it aren’t you? You can’t help yourself. You’re going to click on that purchase button and download this little bad boy.
Well don’t say we didn’t warn you...
But, if you do enjoy STUCK ON YOU, be sure to pick up Jasper’s STUCK ON YOU AND OTHER PRIME CUTS collection, as well.
Stuck on You carries on the proud tradition of Jack Ketchum, Jeff Strand, and Poppy Z. Brite.
Brought to you by Crystal Lake Publishing – Tales from the Darkest Depths
Stuck on You eBook categories:
- Horror novella
- Extreme horror
- Black humor
- Erotic Horror
- US Horror Fiction
- Horror Short stories
- Dark Fantasy Horror
- Horror Romance
- Horror Comedy
- UK author
- Urban legend
- Dark Humor
Stuck on Jasper Bark
My first purchase from Godless, I was looking specifically for books that combine erotica (soft or hardcore) and horror; "Stuck on You" turned out to be an excellent choice. I appreciate stories, of any genre, that produce lean prose that moves along at a fast pace, leaving out extraneous detail that slow a story down. Bark has a style that fits this criteria perfectly. His ability to describe unimaginable scenes is so skillful and powerful that the unimaginable becomes as real as it gets... no easy task for any writer and something I look for in every story and strive to achieve in my own. In addition to "Stuck on You," the book includes some great information about the publisher and their mission, as well as two excerpts for Jasper Bark works... the novella "Run To Ground" and the novel, "The Final Cut." Both excellent bait that will hook a horror writer and reader fish like me. In fact, "The Final Cut" will be my next purchase. Kudo's to Mr. Bark and Crystal Lake Publishing! Alex Eldritch, author of Biker's Haunt and Frozen Heart
Stuck On You is awful in all the right ways!
Stuck on you is disturbing, disgusting, gory, and at times painful to read. Yet, it is fun, humorous, light, and hard to put down. I read it in two sittings. But I imagine most people would skip through it in one, only to find that it is the kind of story that sticks with you. I read it as a part of Stuck on You and Other Prime Cuts, and I am about 60% through it, but this story keeps coming back to me. Especially the ending. I never would have seen it coming. Not in a million years. Special thanks to Marian Elaine for encouraging me to put this at the top of my TBR pile. By the time I was done, I was definitely left thinking, 'TF did I just read?'
That last line ….
Fantastic writing. I love it when a story surprises you, and this one did exactly that. I found it o be very original and extremely stomach turning. Definitely worth picking up. Love this one!
I enjoyed this book immensely. What a terrifying and gruesome situation. I am in awe that the author was able to think this up.
Adultery doesn’t pay
Although I had a rough idea what this story would be about from the title and the cover pic, it wasn’t *that* I blasted through this in two sittings (would have been one if not for damn commitments) and thoroughly enjoyed every moment. Sick, entertaining and very clever.