Pork Chop (Fucked Up Bedtime Stories #4) by Peter Caffrey
AN EARWORM EDITION: E-BOOK INCLUDES A FREE UNABRIDGED AUDIO NARRATION FILE
Arnold decides he wants a pet dog, but Jimmy the Chimp is quick to resist the idea. However, when his attempts to explain that dog ownership comes with a burden of responsibility fall on deaf ears, he hatches a plan to ensure Arnold enjoys all the benefits of having a pet without any of the work.
BEDTIME STORIES: NOT FOR CHILDREN
Ten year old Arnold has a cuddly friend, Jimmy the Chimp. His toy ape is his companion, his fellow adventurer and his advisor. No one else can hear Jimmy when he talks, and there’s nothing about modern life the chimp doesn’t know. Escaping from the world of Mummy and Daddy, the pair set out to have a series of adventures, aided by the fact Jimmy the Chimp is a Satanic necromancer.
Let their enchanting escapades relax and amuse you as you slip into a slumber filled with the sweetest of sweet dreams.
Good night, sleep tight!
Only Peter Caffrey Could Think Up Something Like This!
All Hail The King Of Fucked Up Bedtime Stories. So far, I think Pork Chop is my favorite. They just keep getting better!
Arnold's wanted a dog for some time, especially since he and Jimmy the Chimp murdered the cat--along with the rest of the neighborhood cats. When he and Jimmy meet the resentful service dog who never gets to have any fun, they decide that they're going to take Pork Chop out for a night on the town. It's a win-win situation. Arnold gets to enjoy having a dog for a while, and Pork Chop gets to experience being treated like a pet rather than a slave. Everything goes about as smoothly as one should expect from a Peter Caffrey bedtime story. The adventure descends into a place of madness filled with death, gypsies, dog fighting, gambling, murder, and toothless oral sex. If you're curious about how all of that falls into place, you'll have to check it out for yourself. Once again, audio narration is provided by Caffrey, so you can enjoy the sensation of having him read you this lovely addition to his bedtime stories series as you drift away to a nightmare-plagued slumber. I made the mistake of listening to this at the gym while running on the treadmill, and I was grateful that I had the place to myself because I started laughing out loud at various points.
Poor Pork Chop!!
Poor Pork Chop!!!! This installment in Peter's FUBS is sad, hilarious and very brutally bloody! Arnold decides he wants a pet dog - Jimmy isnt as keen! More hilarious mayhem ensues, with dog fights, a toothless old granny, a blind woman and Jimmy's excellent mischief making! These books are perfect bedtime stories, as they always leave me with a somewhat guilty little smile on my face as I go to sleep! I mean, my dreams are always fucked up after, but thats like getting the movie version of these tales for free! I FUCKING LOVE THIS SERIES!! 5/5 Pork Chops
Hilarious, sick, and very enjoyable
This was my first F*cked Up Bedtime story, and my first from Peter Caffrey. I listened to it on a car ride with my girlfriend. I couldn’t stop smiling the entire time, my attention was undivided/ glued to the speaker as Caffrey intoned his brilliant Pork Chop. Really awesome and amazing, this made me a huge fan. Now to download the rest of these stories!
Go into this one blind!
Another delightfully demented, well written entry into the series. This one caused roaring laughter throughout. The bit with the blind woman, the dog fight, the gypsy granny… when you think this story can’t get any more funny or perverse, it transcends to levels of madcap mayhem and bad taste that any respectable literary purveyor of filth would be envious of writing. King Caffrey, we bow in reverence, sir.