High Tea (Fucked Up Bedtime Stories #6) by Peter Caffrey
AN EARWORM EDITION: E-BOOK INCLUDES A FREE UNABRIDGED AUDIO NARRATION FILE
When an emergency means Mummy and Daddy have to go away overnight, and the only available babysitter is Molly, the opportunity arises for Arnold and Jimmy the Chimp to have a party. However, their hopes of getting Molly roped into a game of strip poker disintegrate when her friend arrives, and it becomes obvious the pair are on drugs. Bowing to peer pressure, Arnold has just a little taste, before all hell breaks loose.
BEDTIME STORIES: NOT FOR CHILDREN
Ten year old Arnold has a cuddly friend, Jimmy the Chimp. His toy ape is his companion, his fellow adventurer and his advisor. No one else can hear Jimmy when he talks, and there’s nothing about modern life the chimp doesn’t know. Escaping from the world of Mummy and Daddy, the pair set out to have a series of adventures, aided by the fact Jimmy the Chimp is a Satanic necromancer.
Let their enchanting escapades relax and amuse you as you slip into a slumber filled with the sweetest of sweet dreams.
Good night, sleep tight!
Drugs, Dismemberment, and Debauchery
Arnold's mother isn't doing well, and when his father--for some unknown reason--can't track down Aunt Dorreen to babysit while he takes mommy away to get her some help, there's no choice but to enlist Molly's help to take care of Arnold. Unfortunately, Molly isn't alone for long, and her friend's brought along some hard drugs. We've all been warned about the dangers of drugs, and Arnold has too. But peer pressure from Jimmy the Chimp might be too much for Arnold to bear, especially when the prospects of becoming King Arnold are rapidly diminishing as he struggles to be a good boy. In this hallucinatory installment of the Fucked-Up Bedtime Stories, Caffrey blurs the line between what's real and what's happening solely in Arnold's imagination, providing us with a tale of dizzying escapades of extreme violence and sexual content. The audio edition provided with the purchase brings the whole experience to life in all its vivid and disorienting detail, lovingly narrated by the author.
5/5bizarro/splatter stars for my new favorite series
Arnold goes on a drug binge with catastrophic consequences for the babysitter.
Hail King Arnold
Things take a hallucinogenic, gory turn for Arnold when he discovers a crack pipe and Daddy’s favourite cooking utensil. All I know is I wish I had a babysitter like Molly. I was delighted to learn our indie horror ambassador Corrina makes an appearance in this story. After Fish Pie Face Fuck! I thought this poor girl had been put through enough…. Nope! Caffrey had to mete out further punishment on our favourite purple haired lass, and it’s as fucking hilarious as Ken Hom being fisted up the Gary.
Ken Homs Cleaver
I missed Jimmy the demon chimp. This was another laugh out loud FUBS. After mummy and daddy leave, Molly and her friend arrive for babysitting duty. There's drugs, Ken Homs cleaver and hilarious fucked up shenanigans.
PoundLand Candy Floss
This series of Bedtime stories is THE BEST series of Bedtime stories ever!!!! If you're having trouble sleeping, a lack of fucked right up dreams, missing out on your daily dose of sick, twisted, savage, messed up depravity......then you've come to the right place! Peter Caffrey has all these things, and more! In this episode, Jimmy and Arnold, sweet, sweet, Jimmy and Arnold, are left alone with the babysitter, Molly! But Molly isn't alone, Molly has brought a friend with her, a friend with purple hair, shit tattoos a crack pipe and a questionable taste in music!! When the 4 of them are introduced to each other, things get completely wild, trippy and brutal!! Once again, this is hilarious fun, even though, I personally, will never be able to look at Jimmy and Arnold the same way again!! I really lost my head over this one!! 5/5 Ken Hom cleavers (I know its an axe, there are no cleaver emojis! ♀️)