Cucumbers and Comforters by Nikki Noir
There is something in the lake. And it wants your ass!
It started when Dale Oberman went missing. Soon after, authorities discover the bodies of two graduating seniors at a lake party. Their anuses cored out, as if the killer had been looking for something buried deep inside.
As problems continue, Jen Levy believes the culprit is a creature living in the lake. A disgusting creature that wants to eat more than your ass, it wants to suck out your shirikodama, and there’s only one way to stop it.
Jen and her stoner pal Shaggy face the Kappa in a novelette of friendship & revenge.
NOT a porn parody
You would be forgiven for thinking that this book is a porn parody of some kind, but you would be way off. This is an awesome creature feature based around the Kappa, an amphibious yōkai demon or imp found in traditional Japanese folklore. There are a few cringeworthy parts, but the character development is second to none, and I find the writing has a very similar feel to My Best Friend's Exorcism by Grady Hendrix. I have read a few stories by Nikki Noir now, and the more I read the more I like them.
Monster Butt stuff with heart
Disclaimer: I was sent this book for free in exchange for an honest review. Look, I did not think I would be emotionally affected by a book called Cucumbers and Comforters by Nikki Noir. Honestly, I thought it was going to be a sex book but I was very incorrect… kinda. Jen Levy is a loner after moving to a new town two years ago. No one seems to want to be her friend until she meets Dale, who is much younger than her. They form a loner bond and Jen tells him stories she learned from her cousin. Tragic circumstances lead to revenge, secrets exposed, and new friendships are formed. O.K., so there is a monster that does butt stuff. But that is a small part of this 77 page story. There is heart, sadness, loyalty, friendship, and I freaking loved it! I felt so much for these characters, except the assholes, I hated them and you will too. Shaggy, Dale, and Jen are so real and fleshed out I could have read 200 more pages of this story. You feel the loneliness, burn for revenge, and dread the last sentence knowing it’s over. This story is superb. If you want a monster loving butt stuff side story to a emotional rollercoaster, pick this one up immediately. 5/5 cucumbers
I Guess It's Time To Grow Cucumbers
Nikki Noir has an exceptional talent for blending supernatural elements with splatterpunk sensibilities. If you haven't read the Black Planet installments--or the collection of the first four--you are seriously missing out on a writer who is easily one of the best emerging voices of indie horror. If, however, you want to avoid diving into a series, you're in luck. Nikki has several stand-alone short stories like this fantastic tale. Jen is still an outsider at school, even after spending a year in the new town where her family moved. One of her only friends is a young boy named Dale, a special boy from an unhappy home. Jen met Dale hanging out near the river, and she began telling him stories. One of those stories Jen shared concerns the Japanese myth of the Kappa. Dale internalized that particular myth and began playacting as a Kappa near the water. But Dale has been missing for a couple of weeks. Heading home after a party where she'd gotten into an unpleasant verbal exchange with one of the popular girls, Jen is startled and pleased to discover Dale hanging out on one of the rocks near the river. She attempts to take him home, but he resists, insistent on playing a Kappa. Leaving him with the cucumber she'd carried with her--the favorite treat of one of those supernatural creatures--Jen races off to bring attention to Dale's presence near the river. From there, Cucumbers & Comforters becomes a barrage of sex, sexual violence, unraveling mysteries, sinister family drama, and myths seemingly come to life. There may be no amount of childlike security found in carrying cucumbers or hiding beneath comforters that will save Jen from the awful repercussions of the events set in motion the night of the party...but you'll have to read the story to find out for yourself. If you're in the mood to read about glowing orbs brutally extracted from human anuses, taboo sexual trysts, and murder, you are in the right place. This is a voyage Nikki Noir is the perfect host to guide you on.
Don’t Go Swimming with a Cucumber in Your Pocket
I never thought I would read a touching story involving a kappa, but here I am. C & C has some great violence, picked out an obscure creature to feature, and had a fantastic story to wrap it all together. This is my first of Noir’s Petite Morts that I have read and I will definitely be reading more of them!
I love Nikkis work, I like the creepiness, the gore, the supernatural, the humour!! This was no different, fast paced, chock full of creepy goodness and plenty of gore!! Has to be 5 cucumbers from me, it couldn't be anything else