Stuck On You by Jasper Bark
Cheating husband Ricardo could never keep it in his pants, and now it’s stuck in the worst possible place.
His Mexican road trip becomes a nightmare straight out of urban legend when he agrees to take the wrong woman back over the border. A bolt of lightning sees him fused to his fellow cheater on a detour into the backwoods. Now he’s fighting wild beasts and raw nature just to stay alive in this dark comedy romance that blends erotic horror with black humour and extreme splatter.
And now... A warning!
Do not buy this book, gentle reader.
No really, we mean it. Move along, click away from this page and go look at some Dino porn instead. We’re not kidding. The only reason we published it is because award winning author Jasper Bark has got some serious dirt on us. Honestly, there’s no other reason to put out something this depraved.
This is the sickest, filthiest and most horny novella you’re likely to read this year. It will turn you on even as it turns your stomach. Think you’ve seen everything there is to see in horror and erotica? Think again! Just when you think this story can’t get any lower it finds new depths to plumb.
Why are you still reading this?! Oh God you’re going to buy it aren’t you? You can’t help yourself. You’re going to click on that purchase button and download this little bad boy.
Well don’t say we didn’t warn you...
But, if you do enjoy STUCK ON YOU, be sure to pick up Jasper’s STUCK ON YOU AND OTHER PRIME CUTS collection, as well.
Stuck on You carries on the proud tradition of Jack Ketchum, Jeff Strand, and Poppy Z. Brite.
Brought to you by Crystal Lake Publishing – Tales from the Darkest Depths
Stuck on You eBook categories:
- Horror novella
- Extreme horror
- Black humor
- Erotic Horror
- US Horror Fiction
- Horror Short stories
- Dark Fantasy Horror
- Horror Romance
- Horror Comedy
- UK author
- Urban legend
- Dark Humor
Stuck On You is awful in all the right ways!
Stuck on you is disturbing, disgusting, gory, and at times painful to read. Yet, it is fun, humorous, light, and hard to put down. I read it in two sittings. But I imagine most people would skip through it in one, only to find that it is the kind of story that sticks with you. I read it as a part of Stuck on You and Other Prime Cuts, and I am about 60% through it, but this story keeps coming back to me. Especially the ending. I never would have seen it coming. Not in a million years. Special thanks to Marian Elaine for encouraging me to put this at the top of my TBR pile. By the time I was done, I was definitely left thinking, 'TF did I just read?'
That last line ….
Fantastic writing. I love it when a story surprises you, and this one did exactly that. I found it o be very original and extremely stomach turning. Definitely worth picking up. Love this one!
I enjoyed this book immensely. What a terrifying and gruesome situation. I am in awe that the author was able to think this up.
Adultery doesn’t pay
Although I had a rough idea what this story would be about from the title and the cover pic, it wasn’t *that* I blasted through this in two sittings (would have been one if not for damn commitments) and thoroughly enjoyed every moment. Sick, entertaining and very clever.
Okay... You guys know how you feel when a friend of yours gets hooked up with a huge 8-baller of meth and asks if you are ready to do a “gagger” and you’re like “Fuck yes!” and he leaves the room to chop em’ up and when he calls you back to the room, there is a line of crank sitting there over a foot long and about a quarter inch deep, and you’re like thinking to yourself “oh my fuck, if I do that whole thing I’m gonna fucking DIE”, and then you laugh and do the whole thing anyway, and 10 minutes later you’re going 666 miles per hour and all of YOUR FUCKING THOUGHTS ARE SCREAMING IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS FOR 3 NIGHTS IN A ROW OMFGGGGGG”? You know that feeling, right? Well friends, that’s exactly what Jasper did to me last night, only instead of methamphetamine, he cut me a gagger of horror fiction that almost fucking killed me. It absolutely RULED. I want MORE! You’ve never read a tale like this. Trust me. Jesus Christ almighty it was EPIC. Buy it, read it, get hooked with me. We can be Jasper Junkies together! 5/5 Skulls ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️